Ahaha, I kinda have to laugh at this one because I went through a situation like this not too long ago. XD I don't think I handled it in the best manner, but oh well. Yes, I freak out if someone is too interested in me too soon. I really need my space when it comes to new people, so if they start getting clingy or too interested, I am going to push them away from me very quickly. At first I'll try and be polite and tell them that I can't handle being called every day or hanging out every day, and if they don't get the hint then I'll start ignoring them and keeping my distance as completely as I can. I'll only be polite for so long before I attempt the cold shoulder.

Yes, I'm a bit anti-social. Or so shy it's crippling. Or scared of getting too attached to people. Whatever. XD

Also....

IDAHO. <3

Yet another quick post. :3 There's no way I can ever thank the veterans enough, not only from my own country but from many others. In particular, I need to thank both of my grandfathers, two of my uncles, and a cousin, who also served.

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!!!

I think I like playing with the font a little too much recently. XD

Just wanted to make a quick post in regards to this quite awesome day in German history. :3

The Berlin Wall came down 20 years ago today, and I believe it was just about a year later when East and West Germany were formally reunified. So in light of this, I just want to say congratulations to the Germans and may you continue to prosper!

CONGRATS, GERMANY!

I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH

Now that that's out of my system (I'M GOING TO KOREA A MONTH FROM TODAY *shot*), I suppose I'll just start by saying that the past month has kinda sucked. Y'know, emotional fragility and the like. Ever have one of those days where you're kinda like fraying at the edges and it'll only take one little thing to either send you flying into unstoppable rage or hiding in a corner crying your eyes out? Enter the last month for me. I haven't ended up in either of those situations, but maybe it'd be better if I did so I could just get it over with. XD I'm kinda sick of the tightrope walking here, and it's only adding to the stressful crap I've got to deal with. Oh well, I'll live. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, and all that.

On the bright side, I'm going home in two weeks, my sister's coming to see me in a week, and I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH. And I'm going to Germany in 14 months. :3

Anyway! ihatesasuke gave me some questions to answer for a fun game or other, so I'll get on with that.

( Follow the cut, there's candy! )

Yay, a fun-ish question!  I'm happy with the Air Force in general (they're sending me to Korea and Germany, how could I not be happy with it), I just don't really care for what I'm doing at my current base.  It's... more stressful than it should be.  Yes, I totally think there's such a thing as a dream job.  As for what I want to be doing five-ten years from now... that's a good question.  I want to be married, at least.  And maybe at a good IT job.  By then I'll probably be out of the Air Force, depending on whether or not I re-enlist.  Judging by how things look right now, I probably won't stay in.  But anyway.  Maybe being a history teacher would be fun too.  Yeah, I'm working toward both IT and history.  Gah, I can't choose.  I've really lost a lot of the interest I once had in the IT field, so... who knows.  Maybe being in a better work environment will help me get some of my interest back, maybe it won't.  So many maybes.

Oh yeah, I also hate fire alarm tests.  They wake me up when I'm trying to sleep.

...by Axis Powers Hetalia. It's eating away at me just like America snarfs down hamburgers.

I seriously cannot get enough of that cooky little anime. I find that I can't really take any international news seriously anymore, because every time I hear about a different country, their Hetalia representation comes to mind and I start to giggle. Oh well, keeps me in a good mood. So I'm particularly enthralled with America. And Switzerland. And England. And Japan. And Russia and China. And South Korea. And I'm gonna stop there. But those are the big ones. And I'm going to bed because I'm seriously going to pass out in about five seconds. Pointless post is pointless!

...Perhaps if I'm lucky I'll find myself having a random and stupid Hetalia dream. That would be a nice way to start off my day.

Wow, I'm doing a lot of these silly writer's block things lately. Anyhow, I prefer to do a little of both. Like this weekend for example. I spent the last two days out and doing stuff, but today and tomorrow I fully intend to be a vegetable at home. I'm babysitting at the moment, but once I'm done I can go back to potato state. :3

Speaking of this weekend, it's been a blast so far. Thursday I went out to Red Rocks Park, Matthews-Winters Park, and Buffalo Bill's grave. Lots of outdoors time makes me quite happy--I haven't done any proper bonding with the outdoors since before I switched to night shift. I also found this old graveyard at Matthews-Winters Park, and one of the graves there was from 1867. Talk about cool. I might post up some pics of what I found, but since I'm not on my own lappy right now, that'll have to wait.

Yesterday I went to Nan Desu Kan for a few hours. There were actually some really good cosplayers there, and I bought a yukata. :3 Also, pics will have to wait. And the crowning moment? Finding Kanji and Naoto cosplayers! <3 <3 <3

So yeah. Today I'm half-asleep, my little cousins are watching Barney (which, thankfully, I'm braindead enough right now to ignore), and once I get back home I may just go back to sleep. Even though I woke up only three hours ago. XD I'll have to get myself back on a night shift schedule anyway, so I might as well start now.

Okay, my little cousins dancing along with a Barney song? Cutest thing ever. :3

So yeah, this would be most social situations. I'm pretty inept socially. But anyway, I clam up completely. I make myself as invisible as possible, don't make eye contact with anyone, and I won't talk. If someone comes and starts talking to me, I'll respond, but I stutter a bit sometimes and it still takes me a while to really come out of my shell. Unless they're one of those people that can actually manage to make me feel comfortable talking. I'll get into the conversation eventually, but most likely I still won't be all that comfortable (unless they're one of the fore-mentioned). So yeah, while it sounds like I just don't want people to talk to me at all, I really do. I really wish I could just talk to anyone and be fine.

Anyway, on to other stuff. :3 I get my first four-day weekend in like, forever, this weekend! And to celebrate, I have two trips to the mountains planned, and I'll also be going to Nan Desu Kan on Friday. This is going to be awesome! Though I still have to get allergy shots on Thursday... oh well, from the sounds of it I'll be on maintenance doses soon, so that's good. I can't wait until I can stop going to the hospital every week.

So I've been having incredibly weird dreams again. Two of them involve other females doing horrible things to me. I wonder if that actually means anything. >.> Anyway, in the first my sister, my cousin, and I were all on the run from the police (can't remember what for). Anyway, we ended up on an Air Force base (fantastic idea on my part :D), and we went to the BX to get some new clothes since the police knew what we were wearing. While I was in the fitting room trying on new stuff, my cousin came to get me since the police were on to us and were heading into the BX. So I ran out while I was wearing the new stuff, and I set off the alarms. We ran into the parking lot, stole someone's car, and took off to my parents' house (the fact that there's not a BX within a few hours of my parents' house apparently doesn't matter in a dream). We hid in my sister's bedroom and then I woke up, so I dunno if the police caught us or not.

In the second one, for some reason some chick was making me drink like bucketfuls of blood. It didn't take me long to start crying and puking and begging her to let me stop. She did, eventually, and then I woke up.

In the third, I went on a trip with some girls I went to high school with, and one of them decided that she was going to rape me. She got me alone, pushed me down on a bed, crawled over me, and told me in great detail what exactly she was gonna do to me. She got started but after a few minutes someone came in and she stopped, and I took my chance to get the hell outta there. Then I woke up.

I wonder what's wrong with me. D:

Anyway, I started playing on the Oregon Trail RP. And it's quite fun. :3 Well, almost anything involving The Oregon Trail is fun, but this is particularly so. I'm playing as Kanji Tatsumi from Persona 4 (penguinquest). I got my copy of The Oregon Trail II as well. I remember it being so much harder than it is now. I mean, when I used to play as a kid I'd get shot and die like EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now I don't have all that much trouble winning. I even try and get myself shot on purpose sometimes, but it doesn't work. So disheartening. Oh well, sometimes it'll toss a particularly challenging playthrough at me and I'll be good.

Well, can't really think of much else to mention for now. Until next time.

Icon batch ho! :D

-Bleach: 18
-Death Note: 2
-Persona 4: 20

( Under the cut, yo! )

Please comment if you take, and credit is nice, though not really necessary. Hope you enjoy! :D

It really depends a lot on what kind of mood I'm in, but it will almost always contain the following:
-"Corridor" - Shoji Meguro
-"Secret Base" - Shoji Meguro
-"Sauna" - Shoji Meguro
-"Theater" - Shoji Meguro
-"Don't Lose Yourself" - Laura Veirs
-"Elevator Love Song" - Stars
-"A Bad Dream" - Keane
-"Anguish" - Shiro Sagisu
-"HOLLOWED" - Shiro Sagisu
-"Soundscape to Ardor" - Shiro Sagisu
-"Motorcycle Drive-By" - Third Eye Blind
-"The Almighty" - Shoji Meguro
-"The Fate" - Shiro Sagisu
-"Invasion" - Shiro Sagisu
-"Hideaway" - The Weepies
-"Love Doesn't Last Too Long" - The Weepies
-"World Spins Madly On" - The Weepies
-"Expectations" - Belle & Sebastian
-"Sukie in the Graveyard" - Belle & Sebastian
-"Take Your Carriage Clock and Shove It" - Belle & Sebastian
-"If She Wants Me" - Belle & Sebastian
-"Near's Theme" - Taniuchi Hideki
-"Mello's Theme" - Taniuchi Hideki
-"SMILE" - Shoji Meguro
-"Delicious Tomato Song" - Daisuke Namikawa
-"Negai" - Kaori Hikita
-"Sen no Yoru no Koete" - Aqua Timez
-"Falling Away With You" - Muse
-"Destroy Everything You Touch" - Ladytron
-"This Light I See" - Romi Paku
-"Metallic Madness Present" - Sonic Team
-"Velonica" - Aqua Timez
-"Kaze" - Fumiko Orikasa
-"World End" - Flow
-"Word of the Voice" - Flow
-"Led to the Sea" - Jenny Owen Youngs
-"Sleep the Clock Around" - Belle & Sebastian
-"We Are Broken" - Paramore

And there's probably a whole lot more, but these are the big ones.

Huh, it's been awhile since I've done one of these.  So anyway, onward!

• Why do I insist on always buying animal crackers even though I'm starting to get sick of them?
• Why do I continue to have the strangest dreams ever?  Like my parents divorcing and my mom remarrying a Japanese guy.  That would never, ever happen.
• Why do guys continue to fall for me?
• Will Sega ever be able to create a GOOD Sonic game again?
• Who would win in a detective face-off, Near or Naoto?
• How does Harrison Ford manage to stay so hot even though he's getting quite old?
• Why do I still like the Oregon Trail game so very much?
• Where can I find the best music exchange site ever so I can get my hands on, like, a crapton more music?
• Why is the theme to "Somewhere in Time" so wonderful?

Kinda random stuff this time.  Yeah.  I can't wait for my copy of "Oregon Trail II" to get here!  I'm so excited that it's almost unbearable.

YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY.

My favorite lady detective would have to be Naoto Shirogane from "Persona 4", and coming in second is Darcy Scott from "Loves Music, Loves to Dance" (even though, technically, Darcy's not a detective).  Neither of them is afraid to put themselves in harm's way to get the job done.  I mean, they both set themselves up as bait in order to catch serial killers and lived to tell about it, however narrowly in both cases--Darcy was nearly strangled to death and Naoto was almost violently killed by the physical embodiment of her fears and insecurities.  That takes some serious guts.  Or a serious lack of a sense of self-preservation, depending on how you want to look at it.  Naoto is definitely my favorite of the two, mostly because I can identify with a lot of issues that she struggles with.  Anyway.

I HATE NIGHT SHIFT.  That is all.

I got bored, so I did this. Feel free to disregard if you don't care for Persona 4. Which is the best game ever, by the way. Anyway. ( Yeah, so there are questions under the cut. )

Oooh, fun one! I'm always very nervous around condemned/abandoned buildings. I figured out this particular fear of mine when I went to go check out the building I used to work in before it was demolished. It was one of those older buildings, I think it was built in the 60s or something. Anyway, I was peeking in the windows and reading the condemned signs hanging all over, and then I just suddenly felt a horrible chill and I bolted. I can't bring myself to go near those kinds of buildings anymore. Also, dark, empty basements kinda freak me out too, just not to the same extent as the aforementioned.

Anyway, I'm sitting around in Houston at the moment, waiting for my flight to Fort Myers to board. And it looks like it's boarding now, so I'll continue this later.

So today I got to go to the tea party being held at the Denver capitol building.  And it was actually pretty awesome!  There were some cool people there, and it felt good to go and stand for something that I believe strongly in.  So here are some pics from the event under the cut...

( Follow the magical cut... )

Anyhow.  I'm getting my hair chopped off and dyed tomorrow, and I'm way excited.  I can't wait to see how it'll turn out.

...And I still have some cleaning to do.  Must go finish that.

I lied, it's not even 2 p.m. yet.

Anyway.  For our first item tonight, I have to say that I find this particularly hilarious.  Glenn Beck truly is a hero for raising awareness about the terrible threat of global warming.

www.foxnews.com/video/index.html

Moving on, I passed my Security + certification test yesterday.  Thank goodness, too, I was so sick of thinking of nothing but security models and encryption algorithms.  Now that I've finished that, though, I can look forward to thinking of nothing but Air Force history and standards and practices.  AWESOME.  OR NOT REALLY.  I imagine I'll be smashing my face into my desk before too long.

I'm not sure why, but I've found myself thinking more and more about what I'm going to do when I separate from the Air Force.  I'm pretty sure that I'll want to live in Idaho, Utah, Colorado, or possibly even Florida--if I can get used to the weather and humidity there, I'd actually kinda like to stay there.  I'm still deciding what school I want to go to, but that shouldn't really have an impact on where I'll live, since I'm planning on taking online classes.  I might go with BYU.  Also, I can't really decide what kind of job I want to have.  One of my cousins suggested that I could be a proofer--basically, my entire job would be to proofread essays and papers and stuff.  It sounds boring and stuff, I know, but I'd actually really love a job like that.  I love giving people crap about all their grammatical errors, so I'd have a blast.  Then again, I suppose if I had a better work environment, I'd actually kinda like my current job.  I might stay in the IT field too... ah, who knows.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Crap, I still have to clean my apartment.  *sigh* Whatever.  I suppose I should get to it.

Writer's block first, because I can.  I'd name that sucker Kuhfudinapah, again, because I can.  Also, I've been watching far too much Scrubs.

So right now I'm taking a break from mentally bashing my face into the wall (aka studying).  I've been at it for roughly six hours now and I'm ready to shoot myself.  I've long exceeded my actual mental time limit for concentration (which is about three hours).  I'd have gone to do something else long ago, but since I'm technically on duty today, I can't really go home yet.  Darn.  So I'm stuck here for another 2 hours and 50 minutes, trying fruitlessly to make my brain focus on what has to be one of the dullest subjects ever (network security).  Seriously, I can study this stuff at home, where I have plenty of minor distractions to help my brain recuperate between bouts of studying.  Here all I really have is the Internet, and that can only keep me happy for so long (like maybe 10 minutes).

Anyway.  I've been playing a ton of Persona 4 in my spare time.  I cannot imagine how a game could get any better than that masterpiece, especially since it has Naoto and Kanji as characters.  And I really do want a moustache, a removable one.  One with the curly tips.  And I could sit and stroke it all day and speak with a French accent.  I'd have to get myself a monocle too.  I'd totally be the coolest thing in existence if I had a moustache and a monocle.

I just now noticed that on my last post, the question "Pirates or ninjas?" was also on the prompt.  Nice of it to show up when I was actually answering that one.  </sarcasm>  So anyway, as far as pirates and ninjas go... I'm not sure.  I love them both.  Ninjas have sweet moves, shuriken, kunai, other sharp things, and are all stealthy and stuff.  But pirates have cool hats, hook hands, peg legs, sweet swords, pieces of eight, and talking parrots, so... If they were to be combined into one entity though, that would be, without doubt, THE single most awesome thing ever.  Well, at least second only to Allen and Crown Clown, but nothing's ever gonna beat that, so. XD

This is the first time in my career that I've actually been able to (mostly) enjoy a four-day weekend where I don't have to work (much).  I still have to go in, but I don't have to hang around.  I'm currently on a super-long lunch break (it's been about eight and a half hours now) and it's totally okay.  THIS IS SO WEIRD.  But awesome.

What's also weird is that there are actually people here that I can hang out with.  I didn't have anyone like that in Colorado (one of the few things I don't miss).  I went to a party last night for the 4th of July and it was a lot of fun.  I was pretty quiet for a lot of it, but the idea that I was hanging out with people finally clicked in my brain and I started to come out of my shell a bit.  This all sounds kinda sad, what with me being rather socially incompetent, but for me it's a pretty big achievement.  What's even sadder is that when I got home I started bawling because I was happy to actually spend time with people. XD

Anyway, now I must go back to wondering what'll happen in the next chapter of D.Gray-man.  And go shopping for business casual outfits for work.  That's gonna suck. XD

Aw, jeez.  I'm one of those people that, you know, wouldn't go back and fix anything--the mistakes I've made have taught me valuable lessons and have helped shape me into the person that I am now.  Although, if I didn't care about that stuff, I'd go back to when I was in tech school and say no when Seth asked me to date him.  He put me through so much loneliness and self-doubt that I never want to experience again.  So, when he'd ask, this time I would heed the wise wisdom of JD from Scrubs and kick him in the groin and run. XD

And now, on a separate note... I moved to Florida!  More on this after the break. XD